Sips Reviews

Rockstar Watermelon-Kiwi - European Edition The news is official that artificial sweeteners cause cancer. I suppose that I should have known based on the effects I have observed after my lifetime of subsisting solely on energy drinks. For many months now my body has been a disfigured, lumpy mass of tumors and growths. My appearance inspires pity in the best circumstances and disgusted hatred in the worst. I have been chased from many civilized places due to my hideous, troll-like appearance. I bear them no ill will, I am a monster, when I catch a stray glimpse of my twisted reflection in the grimy window of a passing bus or in a dirty puddle on the street I too am revolted. Despite my condition, being now formed of many malignant growths, I cannot give up the very thing that has caused that condition. I have also gained perpetual youth and life from that same source, as the taurine in energy drinks is now recognized as a veritable fountain of youth. Even now as I run my fingers over ...

Is this the vehicle of your spiritual journey? Have you attained enlightenment? Have you reached Nirvana? Well, since you are reading this, it is likely that you haven't since reading energy drink reviews is not something that spiritually awakened beings do. Am I a new being? An entity of light and energy? A consciousness that exists in all dimensions and in all times all at once? The answer: a firm No . But I did drink this can of Zevia Zero Calorie Energy in Raspberry/Lime flavour  and it did change my life. Here on the commune we have a maxim: work is it's own reward.  And let me tell you, we work . At first I was a little wary about the new-age spirituality stuff, but now that I have undergone the procedure  at the hands of the leader  I don't really have any problems with it anymore. Sure some people may say that we live in a dirt-floor shack and slave away in an agrarian dystopia while giving all of the fruits of our labour to the leader  so he can live a...

This "impostor" drink is sold alongside its "inspiration" at about the same price; but the habitual customers of the drink are as mysterious and unknown as the origins of the drink itself. In a lot of ways, this Canadian energy drink is emblematic of the energy drink situation in Canada. I haven't had Red Rain for a long time, this is going to be a review that focuses a a more broad topic. The "Energy Drink Market" in Canada is similar to that in the United States, just several years behind in fashion and crippled due to limitations on how much good stuff can be put into a single serving container. While there are a lot of energy drinks that are approved for sale in Canada, the market is not nearly as vibrant as it is in the USA or parts of Europe. As far as I can tell there is no Red Rain website, the closest thing I can find are two Facebook pages (one for Mexico and one for Kosovo ) connected to the brand. The most bizarre thing ab...

To evade a pursuer that neither rests nor sleeps approaches impossibility as the duration of the pursuit grows. I have seen the Minotaur, but more importantly, the Minotaur has seen me. I do not know the source of its enmity, but I know that I am the focal point of the creature's antipathy and my options for escape and survival are dwindling with each footstep, with each second. Just as Pasiphaë's  sexual lust for the bull was overpowering, the bloodlust that the Minotaur has is likewise overpowering. It was only by chance that I somehow managed to detect the creature pursing me in the crowded city streets and equally as fortunate that I managed to evade the creature's wrathful attack that left several people dead. Call it cowardice, but as the Minotaur  was extracting its blood-soaked horns from the entrails of a mild elderly woman that was mistakenly gored in my place, I ran. I ran like a madman, it was, as it still is, my only option.     My ...

The "White Sip" - a beverage that is widely available but so difficult to categorize that there is no being alive that is fully able to understand its exact nature; one of the true enigmas of our world. The unsolvable mystery that I routinely return to is  Monster Energy Zero Ultra , the White Sip of legend, the drink of memes . A drink that exists in culture ; is culture. As Marshall McLuhan noted, the medium is the message , Monster Energy Ultra Zero is the society that we live and the drink that our society consumes. I don't remember the first time that I had the white sip , but that is the nature of it, nobody remembers when they started drinking it. What can really give you a headache is if you try to figure out when the beverage was introduced, and you find that it has simultaneously never  existed and yet has always  existed.  You may dismiss that claim and conduct a simple search on any given internet search engine and find some kind of ...

It's drink. If you look at the posts on this blog, you might get the impression that I am a huge fan of Rockstar Energy  drinks, which I am, but my default sip is the Monster Energy Zero Ultra , the "white sip" that is the default drink of that 30 year old boomer . Despite my proclaimed fandom, the majority of reviews are of Rockstar Energy products. Why is this the case? Well, part of the reason is that in my market, Rockstar products are much more affordable, and the other reason is that I like to try non-Monster beverages to compare them to what is a high standard that I have permanently enshrined as a legend of sips. Moving onward, I recently saw for the first time a   ROCKST★R Pure Zero Energy: Grape , I was definitely going to purchase it, so that I found it on sale, only made it all the better. There are a few differences between the American and Canadian versions of this sip, obviously the can has to include the cryptic French language runes, but the dr...

Behold, the Holy Grail, the container that holds Ambrosia .  I have recently managed to make my way into an secretive Romanian mafia clan, and I need to tell you, it has been great so far. Due to my capacity for inhumane acts of cruelty, I have managed to find a niche in the crime syndicate that has made me, if not wealthy, financially comfortable. Using this newfound income, I have been able to afford some of the higher-end energy drinks that I crave, such as this  ROCKST★R XD Thermo Marshmallow , which is a mix of the Rockstar Xdurance Marshmallow and   X Thermo product lines, with less caffeine because this here is Trudeau's Canada and he is afraid that if the people get the energy that they need and deserve than they will topple his puppet regime. This was the first thing that I thought of when I saw the design of the can. I guess the retrowave trend has been getting popular lately, and energy dirnks might as well capitalize on it. Anyway, here ...

Here is  ROCKST★R  ( ЯR - Rockstar - ROCKSTAR ) Pure: Silver Ice . Here is the can - 473 ml - 16 US fluid ounces. Location Purchased: Ontario, Canada  (accessed July 2018) Price when Purchased: $2.89 Canadian Monopoly Money (July 2018) Taste:   Well, there is not too much to this sip. I have to agree with this review when it comes to flavour - light hints of grapefruit, average carbonation, and general mildness. I would say that this is a fairly inoffensive energy drink and would mix well in place of Sprite (or 7Up, etc).  Energy: 160 mg caffeine per 473 Can (and additional nutrients) In the USA the Pure Zero  marque has been upped to 240 mg caffeine per 16 US fluid ounce can; but the Canadian version still has 160 mg (I have tried the European, USA, and Canadian versions and they are almost identical in taste, if not chemical composition). Other nutrients include a taurine and B-vitamin complex mix - standard stuff. Bottom ...