Monster Energy Zero Ultra

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The "White Sip" - a beverage that is widely available but so difficult to categorize that there is no being alive that is fully able to understand its exact nature; one of the true enigmas of our world.

The unsolvable mystery that I routinely return to is Monster Energy Zero Ultra, the White Sip of legend, the drink of memes.

A drink that exists in culture; is culture. As Marshall McLuhan noted, the medium is the message, Monster Energy Ultra Zero is the society that we live and the drink that our society consumes.

I don't remember the first time that I had the white sip, but that is the nature of it, nobody remembers when they started drinking it. What can really give you a headache is if you try to figure out when the beverage was introduced, and you find that it has simultaneously never existed and yet has always existed. 

You may dismiss that claim and conduct a simple search on any given internet search engine and find some kind of arbitrary date, but I urge you to search your memories, meditate on the subject and try to recall the truth. A beverage that transcends reality in such a distinct and potent way is able to unbind and re-weave our societal collective memory.

Regardless of your personal opinion of the drink - which was implanted by the drink and is not actually a reflection of your personal tastes, it is impossible to deny that it is a very popular option in the consumer segment that seek energy drinks. Due to the popularity of the White Sip, there is no real reason for me to review it, in fact, I will defer to a wizened Sip Scholar to provide a more in-depth analysis of the culture fluid than I could ever muster: 

I long ago gave up trying to uncover the mystery of the White Sip, I am not even certain that it is something that anyone would want to uncover - unraveling secrets of the universe that are older than time would likely be eminently harmful to the psyche and physical structures of the human brain.

Is it something that you really believe that you ought to know..?
  • Price when Purchased: 2 for $5.00 Leafbacks, on sale
Taste: I have heard the White Sip described as having a mild citrus taste, but I prefer to think that citrus fruit are a poor imitation of this drink.

Energy: A cryptic amount of caffeine - 137mg as well as some other chemicals. Unfortunately, the can does not have a complete listing of the particles that lend the beverage its supernatural powers.  

Bottom Line: The rating doesn't matter, you will either be selected to drink it or not, you have no choice in the matter, try to ease your frustration by not thinking about it.


4.5/5 - embrace it

You might have a different opinion or experience - feel free to let me know in the comments.

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