Zevia Zero Calorie Energy Raspberry / Lime


Is this the vehicle of your spiritual journey?

Have you attained enlightenment? Have you reached Nirvana? Well, since you are reading this, it is likely that you haven't since reading energy drink reviews is not something that spiritually awakened beings do.

Am I a new being? An entity of light and energy? A consciousness that exists in all dimensions and in all times all at once? The answer: a firm No. But I did drink this can of Zevia Zero Calorie Energy in Raspberry/Lime flavour and it did change my life.

Here on the commune we have a maxim: work is it's own reward. And let me tell you, we work. At first I was a little wary about the new-age spirituality stuff, but now that I have undergone the procedure at the hands of the leader I don't really have any problems with it anymore. Sure some people may say that we live in a dirt-floor shack and slave away in an agrarian dystopia while giving all of the fruits of our labour to the leader so he can live a lavish life of luxury as a mind-controlling cult despot, but that is fairly narrow-minded, we get three meals a week!

Every once in a while one of the workers collapses from exhaustion or malnutrition caused by government-controlled satellites that shoot damaging rays down on us at the farm and the leader gives them an energy drink from his very own collection, I was one of the lucky ones to receive this boon. The leader says the government is working against us because we know the truth. I am glad the leader knows it, because I can't remember anything beyond a few days ago and my teeth are falling out, but as long as we are on the side of the leader I am sure everything will be fine.

When I drank the Zevia I was revived enough to finish my 16-hour shift of tilling new fields for the leader's crops, and I can't wait to do it again, I just need to wait for my foot to grow back (it got caught in a rototiller) and the leader says it shouldn't take too long since we are so spiritually pure here.

Anyway, I am sure you are more curious about the drink.

Information and review:

Taste: The taste of this one is a mild synthetic fruitiness that captures more of the lime than the raspberry and the drink has a strong aftertaste, likely from the Stevia sweetener used.  

Energy: I will give this a rating of fairly standard, there is 120mg of caffeine in the 355ml serving and it has zero calories as advertised. Unlike a lot of "big can" energy drinks, this has no blend of other stuff, the only active ingredient is "organic caffeine" with no hint as to the source. This has no vitamins or anything else, so if you drink energy drinks to stave off scurvy because of your terrible diet you won't be getting all you need from Zevia

Bottom Line: It is nice to try something new I guess, but I don't think I will try it again - it is kind of pricy, has a lasting aftertaste, and while I am not sure what "L-Leucine" is, I kind of feel like I am getting ripped-off by not having it in this drink. 

🧔🏾‍♀️🧔🏾‍♀️

2/5 - caffeine pill crushed up in some fizzy water 

You might have a different opinion or experience - feel free to let me know in the comments.

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