Zevia Zero Calorie Energy Raspberry / Lime
Is this the vehicle of your spiritual journey?
Have you attained enlightenment? Have you reached Nirvana? Well, since you are reading this, it is likely that you haven't since reading energy drink reviews is not something that spiritually awakened beings do.
Am I a new being? An entity of light and energy? A consciousness that exists in all dimensions and in all times all at once? The answer: a firm No. But I did drink this can of Zevia Zero Calorie Energy in Raspberry/Lime flavour and it did change my life.
Here on the commune we have a maxim: work is it's own reward. And let me tell you, we work. At first I was a little wary about the new-age spirituality stuff, but now that I have undergone the procedure at the hands of the leader I don't really have any problems with it anymore. Sure some people may say that we live in a dirt-floor shack and slave away in an agrarian dystopia while giving all of the fruits of our labour to the leader so he can live a lavish life of luxury as a mind-controlling cult despot, but that is fairly narrow-minded, we get three meals a week!
Every once in a while one of the workers collapses from exhaustion or malnutrition caused by government-controlled satellites that shoot damaging rays down on us at the farm and the leader gives them an energy drink from his very own collection, I was one of the lucky ones to receive this boon. The leader says the government is working against us because we know the truth. I am glad the leader knows it, because I can't remember anything beyond a few days ago and my teeth are falling out, but as long as we are on the side of the leader I am sure everything will be fine.
When I drank the Zevia I was revived enough to finish my 16-hour shift of tilling new fields for the leader's crops, and I can't wait to do it again, I just need to wait for my foot to grow back (it got caught in a rototiller) and the leader says it shouldn't take too long since we are so spiritually pure here.
Anyway, I am sure you are more curious about the drink.
Information and review:
- Location Purchased: Fancy Upscale Grocery
- Price when Purchased: $2.99 Leafbacks
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