ZET Energy

-

Ahh... Dear Customer, right this way.
 Please buy something... I'm so hungry...

Ahh, hello dear customer.

I wander the Lands Between and sell wares as I travel. Let me show you one of the latest quality items that I offer to you, a Tarnished need need of refreshment and energy.

ZET Energy Classic
This aluminum flask contains a revitalizing brew that offers the gift of rejuvenation.

ZET, as this consumable potion potion is named, is totally without renown within the Lands Between, and hails from the far off realm of Latvia. The reinvigorating potion comes at an affordable cost in runes and has a taste reminiscent of the old Estus Flask of the Crimson Cow. Despite being inexpensive, it has a notably kick that will give even the most downtrodden Tarnished a significant boost of energy and will stiffen resistance against the wiles of St. Trina.

Please, purchase one of these flasks and taste its fortifying waters. If you see others of my kin on your journey, please buy from them as well, dear customer.

Information and review:

  • Location Purchased: A Far-Off Realm called Bulgaria
  • Price when Purchased: 2.15 Bulgarian Runes 
Taste: The taste, dear customer, you will find, has the similar Rowa Raisin taste as many other similar energy flasks.

Energy: A typical amount of 80mg of potent Cave Moss extract gives the vivifying nature to this flask just like Stimulating Boluses. It is largely devoid of other nutrients, but the traces of Slumbering Egg leave it with some B2.

Bottom Line: A small price, dear customer. Please, I'm so hungry...

5/5 - Shabriri's Woes

You might have a different opinion or experience - feel free to let me know in the comments.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Power Malt: Extra Energy

-
Image
I have become a new person, a new being; behold, I am purest light. There is a new sun on the horizon: a star of brilliant, destructive energy that is a threat to all life - I am that star . My entire existence has changed. At first it was just another routine murder by me and the other homeless people at the camp; but after we killed the African man, his treasure proved to be my savior, my genesis. Here is the bottle - 330 ml. Location Purchased:  probably in an Caribbean grocery store somewhere. Price when Purchased:  apparently 0.99 Canadian. Taste:   This tastes like a slightly hopped malt beverage. Imagine something like Malteasers , if you have never had a malt drink before. Watch this video - it's pretty awesome. Energy:  This didn't provide energy in the traditional sense so much as it changed my body into a rapidly burning plume of electric flame. After consuming this potent elixir, my body rapidly broke down into an ash...
Read more

Reign Energy Razzle Berry

-
Image
Now appearing in the Canadian Market: Reign Energy, here's the Razzle Berry flavour. Hello wanderer, I mean you no harm, I too am a lone traveler in the vast fields of perdition that extend forever beyond the horizon. Long have I hidden myself in cave-complex hermitage where I have hoped to outlast the great plague, but now that I have come back to the surface, I see that there will never be respite from our damnation, only brief glimpses of paradise through the consumption of forbidden elixirs. This particular elixir , from the lands to the South, has undergone a formulation change to appease our cautious council of elders . Part of that formulation change is a significant reduction in potency - whereas the Eagle-Men are able to consume 300mg of caffeine, those of the Beaver-People are restricted to a mere 180mg of caffeine - such is the way of this land. The inverse side of the can, with its various selling features.  It is said that this series of admixtures was developed to co...
Read more

THE EXPERIENCE IS JARRING

-
Image
Here is the next step in absolute diabolism. Here is the can - 444 ml 4 symbolizes death in Chinese numerology and after drinking this I wish I was dead.  Location Purchased:  A thinly disguised version of Hell. Price when Purchased:  Likely an eternity in suffering. Taste:   Well, now that I have crossed the threshold and entered into a partial reality that exists between livable dimensions, all concept of taste is gone. At times I have synesthesia and others I experience all tastes at once, coming in brutal waves that leave my body a hollow, tortured shell. I have since tried to eat and drink other things, but my body rejects everything categorically, everything except ROCKSTAR: Roasted - Mocha...  Like some kind of addict I keep buying and drinking this, I simultaneously crave it and hate it - the intense emotions and physical effects that this has on my body feel as if they are killing me, faster rather than slower, but even if I am...
Read more