Power Malt: Extra Energy

I have become a new person, a new being; behold, I am purest light.

There is a new sun on the horizon: a star of brilliant, destructive energy that is a threat to all life - I am that star. My entire existence has changed. At first it was just another routine murder by me and the other homeless people at the camp; but after we killed the African man, his treasure proved to be my savior, my genesis.

Here is the bottle - 330 ml.

• Location Purchased: probably in an Caribbean grocery store somewhere.
• Price when Purchased: apparently 0.99 Canadian.

Taste: This tastes like a slightly hopped malt beverage. Imagine something like Malteasers, if you have never had a malt drink before.

Watch this video - it's pretty awesome.

Energy: This didn't provide energy in the traditional sense so much as it changed my body into a rapidly burning plume of electric flame. After consuming this potent elixir, my body rapidly broke down into an ashy residue. As I was being physically remade, time seemed to slow down and I was locked into a tortuous existence that lasted for a perceived thousand years. Once the matter of my body sparked and become energy, the memory was no longer painful, not like the pain that I will inflict. 

Bottom Line: I was a bit worried about this not being a contemporary-styled energy drink, but it converted me to malt.

5/5 - Malty!

You might have a different opinion or experience - feel free to let me know in the comments.