Pocari Sweat

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There is a common vein in history that the greatest lies are most easily hidden when they are kept in plain sight, without any attempt to deny their nature. This beverage is the exact spirit of that concept. Can it possibly be true that there are such massive conspiracies that exist without being questioned?

Even when questioned, the "makers" of the Pocari Sweat beverage make no effort to deny the true nature of the drink. They explain that the term "Pocari" has no "special meaning" and note that "Sweat" makes direct reference to actual sweat. Well, a lot of names are essentially meaningless, and that is what "Pocari" is, a name.

While it is entirely clear that Pocari Sweat is bottled sweat, what is not entirely clear is what kind of person and/or creature the Pocari is. Due to the refreshing sweet taste, it is unlikely that the Pocari is a regular person, and is in fact, more likely to be either a heavily mutated human or an organism that has been kept hidden from most of society.

You may not have known it, but some of the greatest scions of Western Society have sated their great thirsts on the Sweat of the Pocari, note here Cindy Crawford, wearing the boob-plate battle armour that she routinely uses to defend our planet from harmful alien invaders.

My hypothesis is that the source of the "Sweat" is the same thing that has both protected and hampered Japan throughout its history - the massive creature that lives just below the surface of the island.

In addition to harvesting, consuming, and selling the sweat of the creature, Japan has been forced to endure countless earthquakes as the gargantuan beast stirs in its dream-filled slumber. In fact, there is a "myth" of such a creature in Japanese history, another instance of not denying something so radical that it just makes outsiders believe that it is some kind of joke. 
  • Location Purchased: Asian Grocery Mart
  • Price when Purchased: $2.99 Leafbacks
I fully expect some death squads of legendary-level ninjas to come assassinate me for putting the truth out there - or will they just ignore this exposé, letting it be the ravings of a madman that merely serve to drive "sensible" people away from the actual truth.

This is not a euphemism.

Taste: The Sweat of the Pocari is delicious, it is vaguely grapefruit-like and fairly refreshing.

Energy: Well, they advertise that the beverage has electrolytes only, but there are likely a bunch of other enzymes that, if consumed in sufficient quantity allow the drinker access to vast stores of cosmic knowledge, at the price of the loss of sanity.  

Bottom Line: It is like Gatorade, but harvested naturally from one of the Earth's great and mysterious ancestor creatures.

🥤🥤🥤🥤🥤

5/5 - ポカリスエット イオンウォーター

You might have a different opinion or experience - feel free to let me know in the comments.

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