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Rockstar Watermelon-Kiwi (Euro)

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Rockstar Watermelon-Kiwi - European Edition The news is official that artificial sweeteners cause cancer. I suppose that I should have known based on the effects I have observed after my lifetime of subsisting solely on energy drinks. For many months now my body has been a disfigured, lumpy mass of tumors and growths. My appearance inspires pity in the best circumstances and disgusted hatred in the worst. I have been chased from many civilized places due to my hideous, troll-like appearance. I bear them no ill will, I am a monster, when I catch a stray glimpse of my twisted reflection in the grimy window of a passing bus or in a dirty puddle on the street I too am revolted. Despite my condition, being now formed of many malignant growths, I cannot give up the very thing that has caused that condition. I have also gained perpetual youth and life from that same source, as the taurine in energy drinks is now recognized as a veritable fountain of youth. Even now as I run my fingers over